trust

We can not always trust people, but we can always trust in God. There is no doubt about that. I feel as long as I trust in God, well, there really isn't much to worry about.

 Matthew 6:34
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

in regards...

Okay, in regards to my last blog, a very good friend mentioned what she couldn't stop thinking about when she read it. What about those husbands who don't believe? Well, that is mentioned in the book as well. Unfortunatley alot of our husbands aren't as religious as we might like for them to be, some not at all. As women we often think that we can change our men but that is just not how it works. We can't change them, only God can do that. It is our job to pray for them and set the best example that we can. Let God's love work through us. Now that raises another question, this one stems from my own experience. What if we aren't setting a good example? I mean I try but I have a very short temper and even shorter patience. How am I supposed to show my husband the glory of God if I can't even feel it myself? My husband is a good man, he goes to church if I ask him but he isn't the most spiritual man. I would like for both of us to grow in the Lord and I feel that it is up to me to get the wheels in motion. This isn't so easy when I'm getting mad at every little thing and being so emotional. So what do we do in this situation? All I know to do is to keep praying and studying God's word and working on myself. No one said this life is easy, if they did they must have been doing something wrong. I believe God gives us trials so that we may come out a better person. And the enemy gives us trials to try to break us down. Either way it isn't easy. We just have to trust in the Lord and follow his word to whatever avail. I still have a  lot of work to do on myself. So whether it's your husband or yourself just keep praying.

caution faint of faith

I'm reading 'The Power of a Praying Wife' by Stormie Omartian and I love it. Caution to the faint of faith, this book may be to shocking to you. You see, the woman God designed us to be and the woman the world tells us to be are two entirely different women. Unfortunatley women today are so caught up in being independent, strong, equal to men (just to name a few), that words like "submit" tend to immediately evoke negative reactions. We think that to submit makes us weak, so we throw out the idea of submitting to our husbands and all that go along with it. We throw out God's words and make up our own. This is tragic. When we throw out God's words because we feel they are outdated or unrealistic in today's world we are letting the enemy supply our words to live by, and the enemy leads to death. God is life. When we start living by the enemy's words, making them our own, we move away from God. We choose death over life. Why? Why do we do this? Are we as women so afraid of saying "God made me to be my husband's helper, to pray for him, support him, forgive him, love him unconditionally, respect him as the head of the household while we are the heart" to live by God's word? What are we afraid of? That society will regard us as weak? The Lord makes me strong. He is my stronghold. Why would I want to live any other way than by His words? That's why I love this book. It shows us the power of praying for our husbands. It encourages us to take God's word into our hearts and our prayers to help us be the women God designed us to be. The world is constantly changing and evolving but God remains the same. He is invincible to ever changing fads and trends. Don't let the enemy trick you into thinking something is okay because society says it's okay. Stand strong in your faith. It literally means life or death.  -end rant.

undone

Am I so fragile that if one thread is broken I come undone? I certainly feel that way. I am a spool of thread come unraveled. Satan is upon me and I'm having a very hard time fighting him off. The harder I pray the harder he hits. It's nothing so earth-shattering bad, but the tiniest thing sends my mind in an uproar. Apparently I am fragile. Ofcourse God is strong, but I don't always feel like He is helping me. I know He would never abandon me but sometimes it sure does feel that way. Oh to be human.

Go out the window

"Life was fun
Life was great
Til I made my big mistake
Oh no it'll never happen to me
Life was short
And life was sweet
I was thinking as I hit the street
I could hardly beleve
I could scarcely conceive
But I had gone out the window
I had gone out the window
I had gone out the window" -violent femmes

Fifteen years ago I didn't think much of what this song was about. Now I can't stop thinking about it. You may be surprised to find that throughout my life I have considered suicide. The only problem is I can't stand pain of any kind, so inflicting it upon my self just seems impossible. But still, the thought of the easy way out, the escape of it all, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it when times were rough. When there seemed to be no answer at all. When death was the only escape. Isn't that what the enemy wants? For us to just give up. Give up on God, give up on ourselves?

"She was fine
She looked great
And so we made our big mistake
I swear I swear I swear
It'd never happen to her
But the pavement knocked her head around
When she hit the solid concrete ground
From 30 flights above
And she was thirty something loving nothing
Gone out the window
She had gone out the window
She had gone out the window" -violent femmes

It's a gruesome image but it gets the point across. "thirty something loving nothing". How many people in their thirties or at any age just feel empty, loveless? If only everyone could know the love of God. How it fills us up and overflows from us.

"He was smart he was wise
He'd profoundly philosophize
Empathy for all humanity
'til one day by an open window
There's a note that read
I've gone out the window - I'm dead
He said yes to life for all of his life
But then one day he said no
I gotta go out the window
We all go out the window" -violent femmes

Eventually we do all "go out the window". We do not stay in these bodies forever, but we can live forever. No, I'm not talking about vampires or some miracle fountain of youth. I'm talking about living through Jesus. "He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him." -John 3:36

"Catch me I am falling
Catch me I am calling
Catch me we are falling
Catch me we are calling" -violent femmes

I don't know who the violent femmes want to be caught by but for me, I want God to catch me. I know that if I call on Him, He will hear me and He will catch me.

So what does all this mean? Sometimes life sucks. Sometimes we feel defeated and had rather die than deal with our situations. We just want to crawl into a hole and dissapear. But we don't have to do that. God will not give us anything we can not handle. He is here for us if we call on Him. Death is for satan. In Jesus we do not die, we have everlasting life, which unlike this life, will not be full of trials and tribulations. Satan will not be there to try and destroy us. God is stronger than anything the enemy can throw at us. We may not be able to defeat these troubles on our own, in fact we can not defeat them. We are not strong enough, but God is. He sends His Holy Spirit to work through us, to carry us through hard times. To catch us when we are falling and hear us when we are calling. We may all go out the window one day but where we go is up to us. I believe in Jesus. I have been blessed and I know He is real. Do you believe?

burglarized

"...in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." -John 16:33

Sometimes it takes something bad happening to remind us of what is good. We got robbed. But let me back up.

Last Wednesday was a bad day for me. Nothing bad happened I was just in the worst mood ever. It felt like demons were just tearing away at me. The enemy was attacking and he was winning. I felt weak. My faith was weak. For whatever reason I just felt like God had abandoned me. I as angry, frustrated, agitated and depressed. Nothing was going my way. I blamed God. I said things I shouldn't have to God. It was a horrible day. That night I tried to pray and ask for forgiveness. I know God forgives us but I sincerely didn't feel like a deserved to be forgiven. I felt horrible.

The next day I was determined for things to be better. They really couldn't have gotten worse. I had to go to work and about two hours into my shift my husband called. His voice was shaky. "Don't panic" he said, "just stay calm"
Immediately I began to shake as tears welled up in my eyes. Was he hurt? Was our son hurt? My parents?
"Someone broke into our front door and robbed us."
I think I was in shock and I just wanted to bust out crying. I went home to find two police cars and policemen in our house. The tv was gone, the labtop, our already messy house was even messier so it was really hard to know what to look for. Four jewerly boxes, two watches, the ipod, the wii, the wii games, the keyboard, the video camera, with the videos of Lukas the night he was born, his first smile, his first words, his first Christmas, birthday. Oh no.
But we still have our son. We still have each other. Material items are all replaceable. Doors can be fixed, things can be bought, memories on tape might be gone but they will always be in my head. This wasn't so bad. Infact as the day went on and the weekend went on, I realized this really wasn't so bad at all. It could have been much worse. They could have taken more. Someone could have been hurt, or killed. What about the families who lost everything in a tornado, or a fire? We are soooo blessed. Beyond blessed.

I started thinking about how when we moved into that house my parents said it was a bad location. Perfect for a burglary, but I have always felt safe there. I felt safe because when we first moved in I asked God to protect us, and I believed that every day and every night God was protecting us. So this begs the question, had God stopped protecting us? Did my lack of faith on Wednesday anger God so he lifted up his protection and allowed us to get robbed? NO. On the contrary. God is always protecting us. I feel my faith is stronger now. I know God forgives me. I know He loves me and I know He is protecting me, my family, my home. Maybe this is a messege from God showing us that anything can happen but as long as we have Him in our heart we can handle it. Maybe this is the enemy trying to further break down my weakness that I showed on Wednesday. Maybe Satan expected me to shout angrily at the Lord asking why, why us? But instead I thank the Lord. I thank Him for all that He has blessed us with. I thank Him for watching over us. I thank Him for being merciful and forgiving us. I thank Him for our wonderful family and all the generous friends who have stepped up to support us through this time. Our God is an Awesome, Amazing, Wonderful, God. His love is bigger than anything satan can hit us with.

As for the robbers, I wish them no harm. I pray that whatever it is causing them to steal might be fixed. If they are hungry I pray they find food. If they need love I pray they find love. If they need warmth I pray they find shelter. If they have an addiction I pray that God my deliver them from that addiction.

Wednesday I felt weak but today I feel strong. The Holy Spirit of the Lord is working inside me. Like I said, sometimes it takes something bad happening to remind us what is good.

My Father's House

"Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there you may be also." -John 14:1-3

Anyone who knows me know I love Howard Finster. One of my favorite all time prints of his is of a chapel, a grand mansion type chapel, and it says "IN MY FATHERS HOUSE ARE MANY MANSIONS" If it were not for this piece of art I would not be familar with this bible verse. This is one of the reasons why I love Finster so much. He used his art to get the Word of God to the people. I beleive God choose Howard to do so. I would like to think that I may be chosen to get God's word out. I am not 1/10 as familar with the bible as I should be but I am trying. One verse at a time I'm learning God's word. The best way for me to learn anything is my visually seeing it. By putting it down on paper, it helps me acknowledge and understand. If someown just read this verse to me it would go in one ear and out the other. But seeing it. Seeing Howard's vision, seeing my own visions. This is what tugs at my heart and swells my eyes with tears. This is when I know that it is real. Heaven is real. God is real. The bible is real. It is really God's word. Jesus said, "if it were not so, I would have told you".

If you are not familar with the Reverend Howard Finster please click on this link.

http://www.finster.com/

also see the post down below "In my Father's House"

What piece of art speaks to you?

Giving Up

Sometimes we give things up to God and sometimes we just give up. Or at least I do anyway. Sometimes there is no bible verse, no rainbow, no light at the end of the tunnel. On these occasions the devil is winning. He is foaming at the mouth with another kill. Demons attack me on all fronts. What can I do? I am not strong enough to fight the darkness off. I am not strong enough to silence the negative voices. Satan knows this and uses it against me. My own weakness as his ammo. I am not strong enough. But God is. He sends the Holy Spirit in to hold me up, to give me strentgh and to give me protection. Satan is strong but God is stronger. There is not doubt in my mind that my Lord can crush satan like a dried up ole wasp nest. Crush him and his demons. So why do I let myself get so down? Human laziness? Not spending enough time in the word of God and in the presence of God? Whatever it is I'm thankful that it doesn't last long. I know I am never alone and God has my back.

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my sheild and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." -Psalm 18:2

I give up.

I pray and there is no answer. I simply cannot do all the things I am expected to do. I am a failure. I give up.

the freeway

I heard this on the radio the other day and I think it is a very good analogy. If you are driving on the freeway and you need to get off on a certain exit and you accidently pass that exit do you just keep on driving? Do you say "oops, I misssed my exit, guess I'll just keep on going even though I don't know where I'm headed now, and I'll probably get lost and it won't be easy to get back where I was going." No, that's silly. You would turn around as fast as you could and get back to where you are going. So why don't we do that in life. When we sin we have a habit of saying "oops God, I sinned, please forgive me" but then we keep on sinning. We keep on heading down the freeway getting farther and farther away from our destination. We get lost. And it isn't easy to get back. In life we need to recognize that if we keep on sinning, we get further and further away from God. We can pray and ask for forgiveness all we want but until we stop the sin, until we turn around and say "God I'm coming back on track" our lives will keep going out of control. How foolish we are to think we can keep on sinning and denying the fact that we are off track. The fact of the matter is there is one road, one way and any other way is just the enemy fooling us into destruction. What road are you on today? Did you miss your exit?

lilies of the field

"Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:" -Matthew 6:28 Worry. Worry. Worry. In these times of layoffs and high gas prices we have a lot to worry about. If you're like me and you have little money saved up the thought of losing a job is enough to make my heart stop. No paycheck, no mortgage payment, no house, no home, then what? This can not happen, but it does happen. It happens all the time to people who never thought they would be in such a predicament. What do we do? It's hard to even think about helping others when our own lives are on the line. But what exactly is on the line? What is the most important thing in our lives? A house, a car, things and more things? No. God is the most important thing. Yes that's easy for me to say because I still have a roof over my head. I still have a job for the time being. But I must not forget my purpose. I am not on this earth to aqcuire things. I'm on this earth to serve and praise my Lord. I'd rather be a lamb of God than a slave of the devil. I thank God every day for the roof over my head and the job that provides the money to buy the groceries and pay the bills. The hard part is not worrying. To let it all go to God and know that He is in control. I give myself to Him so that He can guide my steps and I know that He will take care of me. I know this and yet still it's hard not to worry sometimes. Lord I pray that your grace will see me through. That no matter what life throws at me I have you to hold me up, to show me the way. I pray that I make the right decisions and follow your path. Ofcourse just praying isn't enough. I know that to live the life God wants for me I must study His word and live by His word. I pray that we all may study God's word and spend time in prayer to be able to know Him better and live the life that He Has mapped out for us. I pray that I may be like the lilies of the field and not worry about what's coming next, but know that my God is watching out for me. Amen. Oh yeah, just a side note, lilies of the field are now my favorite flowers. :)

In my Father's house.

"In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." John 14:2

I love this verse because I associate it with the image of Howard Finster's poster titled "In My Father's House". You can find it in this link: http://www.finster.com/Message%20Posters.htm

I also love it because it reminds me that this world is only temporary. The house that I live in now will one day crumble and fall (hopefully not while I'm still in it). My true home is in Heaven in the presence of the Lord. It helps to keep things in perspective. I may not have exactly the house I want with all the rooms and the big yard full of magnolia trees but in Heaven I will not want for anything. I will be fully content. It reminds me that while I am on this earth I can also be content, because I know that I have a loving God that I will be united with in Heaven. Whatever trials I go through I can take solice in the fact that my Lord is with me. He never leaves my side. I praise Him for His glory.

The Ultimate Creator

God is the greatest artist of all. He is the Ultimate Creator.

"God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone, but on trees, and flowers, and clouds, and stars." -Martin Luther

I often think about the artist who inspire me. My top three (human) artist are Vincent Van Gogh, Howard Finster and Edward Gorey. These are the artist that I feel most in tune with. Each has a style completly different from the other. I love them all with a passion. My greatest inspiration however, comes from God. He is the ultimate creator.

"All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, all things wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all" -Cecil Frances Alexander

I am in awe of his creations. From the beauty in a sunset to the beauty in a flower to the amazingly intricate design of our own human bodies.

"The world of nature bears spectacular witness to the imaginative genius of our Creator." -Philip Yancey

I am blessed to live in a world created by our God.

Closer to God

Is it any coincidence that my life is better when I am closer to God?

The days when I wake up thinking about how blessed I am and thanking God for my family, my home, and my health are the days that seem to breeze by. The more time I spend in prayer seems to be directly related to the more time I feel happy. I feel like life has a purpose, like I have a purpose and God is leading me in the right direction.

Is it also just coincidence that the days I forget my morning prayer, forget to thank God, spend time in His word, those are the days that things don't seem to go right. That no matter what I do nothing seems to make me happy.

It's no coincidence. God is in control of our lives if we let Him be and our lives are better when we give ourselves over to God. The enemy tries to pull us away with this or that, tricking us into thinking we can be happy be some other means. Satan doesn't care about us. He wants to ruin our day, ruin our lives. He will do anything to keep us from loving and worshipping God.

Here lately I feel like I have fallen away from God. Not that I've been doing anything bad, just that I haven't been spending the time with Him that I should, and I can tell. It's amazing what just a few mornings of not praying can do. For whatever reason, I overslept, I don't have time, the baby is crying, I'll just check my email, watch this tv show. It doesn't matter what the excuse is, not spending time with God can hurt us.

It's strange but I've noticed that if I don't start my day with God I usually don't end my day with God so you can imagine the inbetween part. I think it is very important to make God a part of your day from beginning to end.

I'm going to challenge myself. Every morning I'm going to get up before Lukas wakes up and spend time in uninterrupted prayer. If for any reason Lukas wakes up first I will give him his bottle and kneel and pray anyway. Sometimes I pray aloud including my 18 month old and usually he is quite during this time. The second part of my challenge involves my husband. Every night after Lukas goes to sleep I'm going to challenge us both to sit down, no tv, no internet, just the two of us with the bible and our devotional book. Every night we will do a different devotional. We've tried this before and never got too far but I'm going to try very hard this time. If you, whoever is reading this, would like to make us accountable for this please feel free to email me or leave a comment reminding me that you are watching us. It also would hurt to pray for us. Especially my husband. He is really good to go along with me when I want to do stuff like this but I would love for him to want to do it as badly as I do.

If I begin my day and end my day with God then I know my days will be better. No matter what life might throw at me I know that God will not give me anything I cannot handle, and it is a lot easier to handle things when God is with me.

If you don't pray spend time with God every morning and every night, and you don't study His word, give it a try. See if it makes a difference in your life. Then let me know how it goes. I love to hear how God works in the life of others.

thank you and good day. :)

I'm in the valley.

Have you ever felt lost? Have you felt as though you are just floating around in limbo waiting for something to happen? I've been feeling that way. Like a spool of thread come undone. I don't know what I am supposed to do. I can't get excited about anything. Where did my enthusiasm go? Did I even spell that right? I hate this feeling. Being in a funk. I guess you have to have valleys to appreciate the peaks. I'm definetly in a valley right now. There are worse things though. I'd rather be in a valley than in a desert. Being in a desert would be like not knowing God. Not knowing that things would get better, not having hope or faith. In a valley the grass is still green, the streams still flow and you can at least see the mountain. It may seem like some obstacle you can't overcome but it's there and you can overcome it with God's help. The next thing you know you will be sitting on that mountain top just enjoying the veiw. So right now I'm in the valley. I can see the mountain although it is very hazy. Surrounded by fog and clouds. Like I said, I'm in limbo. I'm not sure what I'm up against or what my next move is. I'm just waiting to hear from God. Looking and listening for signs to lead me on the right path. After all there may be more than one way up or around that mountain. Or maybe I'm meant to stay in the valley awhile? Only God knows what is in store for me. Only His guidance will lead me in the right direction. Satan will surely try to trick me into going the wrong way. He probably has an easy enticing way around the mountain, but at what cost? If I'm not listening to God's signal, if I'm not intune with Him I will be lead astray. Off into the wilderness. I pray.

My Father in Heaven, I pray that You will lead me where you want me to go. Give me the wisdom to see the signs and make the right decisions. Don't let me be lead astray by the enemy. Show me the route to take and be there with me to give me strength and grace. Amen

"I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye" -Psalm 32:8

proverbs 31:30

"Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."





This is one of my favorite verses in the bible. Oddly enough the first time I ever heard it was in a D.C. Talk song. Then a bit later in life I heard it at my grandmother's funeral. If the catchy song put it in my head, hearing those words describe my grandmother as a woman who feared and loved the Lord, put it in my heart. So what does it mean to be a Godly woman?



Throughout the bible we see examples of what a woman who loves the Lord should be. Today we have amazing books like "Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild" by Mary A. Kassian. And if those references aren't enough we now have the True Woman Movement. What's that you ask? Well let me tell you, or better yet click the link at the bottom of this blog and see for yourself. Trust me, if you have time to read my blog you have time to see what God is doing in the lives of women today. Men, I encourage you to read up on the movement as well. And no, this isn't some bra burning we are women hear us roar thing. This is truely women wanting to live the lives that God created us for, the lives that he has planned for us. If we want to live in His word and carry out His will we need to be living the life of a Godly woman.

Please take the time to check this out.

http://www.truewoman.com/

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." -Proverbs 31:10

"Well I'm lookin' for a girl who's virtuous
Cause God laid it on my heart to search for this
So I open up the Word to the book of Proverbs
The 31rst chapter tells me all about her
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain
A woman who fears the Lord, she ain't playin'
Hear what I'm sayin', cause I'm sayin' it clearly
She's the kinda girl I gots to have near me"
-DC Talk

an everyday miracle

You may not think of this as a miracle, but I do. This morning when my husband went to take a shower no water came out. Oh no we both thought. The pipes have frozen and now they are going to bust if they haven't already and it's going to cost a fortune to fix it. We don't have the money for that. What are we going to do? Thinking the worst our day was off to a bad start. After my husband left for work I decided that I was not going to let this happen. Unless it was God's will ofcourse. I put into action what I call my own little prayer chain. I posted on facebook and twitter asking people to pray. I called Moody radio asking to be put on their prayer list. I called my best friend in Jesus and put her on speaker phone and asked her to pray aloud in my house. And most importantly I took the time to kneel at my bed and talk to God myself, giving him my full attention. I know he was listening because for once my 17 month old kept quite. I prayed and asked God for his will to be done, but if that including sparing us a busted pipe, that would be wonderful. Yes this may sound like a lot of whoop-de-do about nothing but to us it would have been a big deal to hire a plumber to fix our pipes. But God listened. Some people might say that it's just a silly coincidence but I know when God is listening and I know when he is looking out for me. I don't know how many people actually prayed for us. Maybe it was just me and my friend Linda. What I do know is we have running water and no broken pipes. Thank you Jesus. It may be a small miracle but I believe it is one just the same.

God listens to us pray. We are never ever alone. We are not subject to the whims of the universe. We are subjects of God. He can turn a circle into a square. He can divide a sea, make manna fall out of the sky, turn a small portion of food into enough to feed an army, He can create a storm and calm it. He can save a life. He can certainly save some old pipes. Our God is an awesome God. There is nothing he can't do. That doesn't mean he is going to grant all your "wishes". But he does listen to us pray.

hope

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." - Hebrews 10:23

Sometimes it is so hard to keep hope when a situation seems hopeless. Thankfully we have a God who keeps His promises. As long as we keep our faith in Him and strive to live in His word and carry out His will He will take care of us.